Our Beloved Lake Minnetonka is Turning Orange!

by Loretta

boating on lake minnetonka mn

Lake

Lake Minnetonka lakeshore residents and various environmental groups are becoming increasingly concerned about color changes that are being observed in Lake Minnetonka water. The bright orange color has not hurt fishing or home sales in the area, but the Minnesota EPA has no information about possible long term effects. Even the cause of the color change in Lake Minnetonka is being hotly debated.

Local environmental groups are attributing the change in color to a common household product. “We have reason to believe that this phenomenon is caused by unknown individuals dumping large amounts of Orange Tang into their septic systems,” claims Paul Buckner at the Loon Environmental Center. ” One expected side effect may be a change in the flavor of game fish that are harvested from this lake. The fish may become sweeter and have a slightly citrus taste.” Folks on the East Coast can enjoy eating a fish called Orange Roughy. Minnesotans may soon be eating “Orange Muskie” or “Orange Walleye.” Soon we may be enjoying “Duck with Orange Sauce,” without even having to cook the sauce.

What can be done about this? One proposal has been to introduce large amounts of blue Powerade powder into the water. Critics of this proposal claim that this lake will never return to the beautiful sparkling blue color that Minnesotans are so fond of. “Orange and blue make brown when mixed together, explains Mr. Buckner. “The lake will resemble the color of some of those skunky lakes found in the southern part of the state.”

Skeptics of the Orange Tang Theory have their own explanations. They believe that the orange color is caused by the harmful effects of beautiful sunsets. Why do they believe this? The orange water effect seems to be most pronounced in the late evening hours. “Before long, it will be a crime to go to the bathroom after drinking KoolAid,” says Roy Bunt, of Orange Tang Scam. “This is a conspiracy to create fear in order to allow the government over-reaching authority. “We need to get big government out of our septic tanks and back into Sherman Tanks, where it belongs.”

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